All-you-can-eat Buffets, Top 7 tips from a professional pig

I love buffets, I'll admit it. Here are my top 7 tips for successfully feeding your face without overdoing it.

1. Choose a seafood buffet. Prawns, oysters, smoked salmon, baked fish (Stuff you might not eat at home) - gives you more bang for your buck. Avoid filling up on: pizza, pasta, rice, potatoes, creamy salad dressing, fried crap.
2. Pace yourself. Grab your prawns (shrimp), peel them all first, relish them. Chat to you partner, gossip about fellow diners, enjoy the view.
3. Don't pile your plate high with a mixture of things. The fire alarm hasn't gone off. You can return to the buffet, you know. Arrange the plate like an a la carte meal.
4. Don't eat or drink while you are standing up. It looks gross.
5. Don't queue if you don't need to, there is probably two sides to the table, so you can attack from either side. You're not aboard some crap cruise ship.
6. Check out the carvery. If the meat doesn't look pink and juicy, forget it.
7. Wait until a fresh bain-marie has been swapped for the old turned-over food. Nothing worse that cold vegies or congealed sauces.

 Happy eating, piggies.