"Top of the Lake: China Girl" Review

The first season back in 2013 was a muddled masterpiece - great cast and atmospheric New Zealand locales. Jane Campion's Sydney-based opus is a hot mess.
Nothing rings true. The dialogue is clunky. The characters are unbelievable and unsympathetic. Yes, I get the 'misogyny takes many guises' message. I don't need to be hit over the head with it (the sniggering police recruits, the slimy geeks in the cafe, Mary's smarmy boyfriend Puss - or should that be Pus).
The situations are unreal, rather than quirky. What was the space helmet bit in Miranda's kitchen all about? If I want surreal, I can go to the sublime "Twin Peaks".
Any good stuff?
The bobbing suitcase, Clayton Jacobson's easygoing persona, Jane Campion's daughter, Nicole Kidman's frizzy grey coiff.

Episode 2 (not directed by Campion) was an improvement due to the N.Z. flashback, interesting plot twists and two standout scenes - Robin vs Julia (poor hubby Pyke) and Robin meeting Mary.
Ray, the Medical Examiner (Geoff Morrell), is stealing every scene he is in. I'm warming to Elizabeth Moss's understated performance.
Random weird stuff:

• The New Zealand police acting like 6 year olds on the suspension bridge.
• Miranda's 'open-door' therapy.

Episode 3's florid highlights:

• The overwrought restaurant scene complete with embarrassed customers, the 'c-bomb' and Alexander's chandelier rant. Terrific seeing Marg Downey ("Fast Forward", "Kath & Kim") as Julia's partner. She seems to be typecast as the new age nutbag.
• The return of David Wenham (Al Parker) - wheelchair bound Bond villain transforms into Hitchcockian psycho-killer.

Episode 4 (the nose-biting ep).
No mention of Parker's fate, just more cringeworthy developments.
Just when you thought Alexander couldn't get more detestable, he excels himself at the Father-Daughter bash; then pimps out Mary. The show defies logic. The nose biting scene got more gratuitous by being set on a nudist beach with sweeping views of Sydney's skyline.

Episode 5 (Jane Campion is back in the director's chair) - 59 minutes of my life I will never get back. More tortuous dialogue, implausible situations and a "Taxi Driver"-like denouement that you could see coming mid episode.

Episode 6 (final)
The Bondi Beach manhunt was another unbelievable scene. Why hide on the beach on a 35 degree day?  Because it was cinematic, that's why.
"Top of the Lake: China Girl" should have been a four-parter at the most. This story of loss, parenthood and surrogacy could have been more economically told. The production was ham-fisted and ponderous.

P.S. Small quibble: How could Alexander get a bag of bottled water through airport security?

Australia's best hotel club lounge?

Sofitel Melbourne On Collins has the best club lounge experience in Australia in our humble opinion. Forget The Langham, Pullman hotels or the Crystal Room in Crown - the views, choice of food and beverage are better at Club Sofitel. 

Good old Melbourne Sofitel still has the option of serve-yourself drinks (beer, cider, wine and premium spirits or staff will bring your preferred tipple to you (between 5:30 and 7:30 p.m.). Evening canapes is more like a 3 course meal: 2 or 3 hot dishes, seafood (usually king prawns and/or oysters), gourmet salads, sushi, cheeses, bread, antipasto, desserts and a chocolate/Turkish Delight/nougat platter to finish.

A light lunch and afternoon tea (Le Gouter) is also complimentary. Breakfast is an elaborate affair with a full buffet as well as a la carte menu (no extra charge).

Staff are friendly and efficient without being cloying.

The lounge is on the 35th floor (hotel rooms are from level 36 to 50) with sweeping views of the city.

Sydney and Brisbane Sofitel are great, but Melbourne's club ticks more boxes.

Visit the gym after all this indulgence. Pamper yourself with the high tech massage chairs.

View from reception desk

Light lunch, dessert to follow - views toward Parliament House

Some of evening food options 

A range of premium spirits available

Lunch buffet

Chicken and king prawn salad - is this a 'light lunch' (as described by Sofitel)?

Gas fireplace

The club is L-shaped with separate rooms for meetings/reading/games. Shower facilities available

A la carte breakfast - Poached egg on wilted spinach and field mushroom, truffle sauce and rosti potato

Delicious lunch treats

Swimmer's ear in Bali

I always end up with "swimmer's ear", in the surf and in swimming pools.
Prevention: ear plugs (Blu-tak works if you don't have the expensive gel ones)

Treatment:

• 2 drops of vodka in the affected ear, every few hours
• 2 Panadols every 4 hours
• Ear drops, if Vodka doesn't work.  After 24 hours of treatment, all good.  Price 55 000 rupiah (50 000 rupiah on Jalan Legian, near Jalan Melasti)  A bargain.
  

Nusa Dua or Nusa Don't?

Public land adjoining 5 star hotels tends to be used as rubbish dumps. This is particularly noticeable in neighbouring Tanjung Benoa.

View from the beachfront walkway that links Tanjung Benoa to Nusa Dua

Conrad Hotel - front view

Conrad Hotel - side view

Bali tourist spots in 30 words

Tuban - airport, bogans, no accessible surf
Kuta/Legian - bogans, surf
Seminyak -  sunset beach bars, villas, funky shops, dodgy surf
Tanjung Benoa - water sports, petrol fumes
Nusa Dua - sunrises, resorts, weddings

Tanjung Benoa

Nusa Dua

Bali bodysurfing: Legian vs Seminyak

Legian - near Pullman Hotel

Legian has more consistent surf and fewer red flags. Seminyak seems to be prone to more rips and dangerous currents. Red flags (swimming prohibited) are seen on a daily basis - not that anybody takes any notice of them. Whenever you see surf schools in Legian, you will find medium waves suitable for body surfing with the chance of a long run to the shore.
These comments relate to the April - May period.

Seminyak - Royal Beach Hotel

Is Jetstar Business Class worth the money?

This post covers Jetstar flights on Dreamliner 787, ex Melbourne, Australia. Flights to Denpasar, Singapore, Bangkok, Osaka (Business Class ex Cairns) and Tokyo (Business Class ex Gold Coast).

Pros 

• Cost - Jetstar frequently have International Business sales (e.g. one way MEL-DPS, MEL-SIN, MELB-Bangkok for around $499). This compares favourably to 'cattle-class' for around $199.
• Small business cabin (3 rows of 7 seats) means speedy service from crew and better ratio toilet to passenger (1:21) than Qantas Dreamliner.
• Usual perks - priority boarding, express card for immigration (in Australia), handy amenity pack with skin care products, socks, toothpaste, etc.
• Surprisingly tasty and varied meals (see below). Plunger coffee with cabin attendant circulating with giant selection box of premium chocolates (weird?).
• Help yourself to snacks in the forward galley.
• Copious bottles of water.
• Champagne (Piper-Heidsieck or Henri Laurent) served in tumblers rather than flutes throughout flight - but, hey I ain't complaining - or choice of wines, beers and spirits.
• Baggage (checked) 30 kg included and generous carry-on. When travelling in Asia for 1-2 weeks, we prefer to just use carry-on only, avoiding that dreaded wait at the carousel.
• Seating perfect for medium haul/day flights. No need for lie-flat beds.
• It's "old school" business class seating, so you can chat with your partner over lunch, unlike some newer seating configurations that box you in for privacy.
• Less kids
• Champagne/water/juice served before take-off.

Cons

• "Business-lite" and more like Premium Economy on some airlines.
• Row 1 has the most legroom but you have to use in-flight entertainment stored in armrest.
• Limited but adequate range of IFE, if you don't mind U.S. television series rather than U.K.
• Avoid middle seats unless you are want to travel as a trio. Hard to exit middle seat, limited wriggle-room.
• No guarantee your baggage will come out first.

Starters for Lunch menu

Salmon steak with salsa (tastes better than it looks)

Choice of cheese platter or dessert (or both if you are lucky)

Starters on Melb-Singapore (Lunch)

Is the paper book dead? Or just creatively reused? Books become visual art

The ultimate example of style over substance? Or is it stunning visual art?

Entry staircase

A closer look at "Reader's Digest" 

With the use of e-readers, hard cover and paperback books are now being used as decorating items.

We found this wall of pre-loved books in Melbourne's QT hotel foyer. The feature was created by Sydney artists Claire Healy and Sean Cordeiro. Their "Reader's Digest" combines books 5.5 metres of books, glue and MDF. Some might say the best place for Jeffrey Archer is to be tightly wedged into a wall cavity.

The Sofitel Bangkok Sukhumvit doesn't bother using real books. It uses giant mock ups for its decor in the club lounge.