5 reasons Bali is still a great destination

Legian sunset

Since the 1970's tourists have been flocking to the Indonesian island of Bali. Why do they return? Is Bali past its use-by-date? Here's why they keep on coming (a personal view):

• Ngurah Rai International Airport has finally got its act together. Passport control is a breeze. There is even an "Over 60 years booth". No Visa on Arrival (e.g. for Australian tourists) hassles.
• The morning swim/body surf at Legian Beach (before 7 a.m.). No surf schools, no glare, no hassle, just beach dogs, fishing boats on the horizon, great surf and misty Mount Agung to the north.
• Food. Cap cay or Gado-gado (around $A2 each) at the closest warung. Never quite the same, always delicious.
• Range of accommodation options (from $20 - $2000 a night)
• The people. Still friendly, great customer service with a cheeky sense of humour.

Bali tourist spots in 30 words

Tuban - airport, bogans, no accessible surf
Kuta/Legian - bogans, surf
Seminyak -  sunset beach bars, villas, funky shops, dodgy surf
Tanjung Benoa - water sports, petrol fumes
Nusa Dua - sunrises, resorts, weddings

Tanjung Benoa

Nusa Dua

Bali bodysurfing: Legian vs Seminyak

Legian - near Pullman Hotel

Legian has more consistent surf and fewer red flags. Seminyak seems to be prone to more rips and dangerous currents. Red flags (swimming prohibited) are seen on a daily basis - not that anybody takes any notice of them. Whenever you see surf schools in Legian, you will find medium waves suitable for body surfing with the chance of a long run to the shore.
These comments relate to the April - May period.

Seminyak - Royal Beach Hotel

When tourism helps the environment - Keep Bali Clean

Nusa Dua Beach, Bali, Indonesia

Every morning workers from beachfront hotels, restaurants and bars rake and collect rubbish (predominantly plastic bottles, wrappers) dropped or swept ashore. The beaches of Kuta and Legian are noticeably cleaner than this time last year. The Keep Bali Clean initiative (started in 2014) seems to be definitely working.

Laneways and main streets have organised stacks of refuse, ready for collection. Less dog droppings also this year.

The other side of Legian-Kuta - away from the tourists

Venture down a "gang" (lane)

 Just 10 minutes walk from the tourist areas of Jalan Legian, on Jalan Patih Jelantik, is another side of Denpasar. No spruiking ("Transport?", "Excuse me, I'm not selling anything ..."), nor tattoo-covered, beer swilling bogans "That's awesome, Jayden!").
Towering fig trees, quiet temples and interesting curio shops.

Solitude, 20 minutes from the Legian Beach

Nautical fittings shop - great for the yuppy beach house

Tribal art and antiques

Native American kitsch (next door)

Clever re-using of materials - handbags, flooring, steps

Low impact exercise for 50+ year olds, body surfing & water aerobics

Surf at Legian Beach, Bali

Each morning I see red-faced seniors jogging along the beach. I prefer to kill two birds with one stone - body surf as well as water aerobics. 

After catching each wave or waiting for a good one, you are moving through the surging water (see video) around 50 - 100 metres between waves. Catch 20 waves that's 1-2 km of low impact exercise. Cup your hands to increase resistance through the water. Great to tone up your arm and leg muscles. My dicky knee feels a whole lot better with this treatment. 

The best street in Kuta-Legian?

Jalan Lebak Bene leading into Jalan Bene Sari (between Jalan Melasti and Poppies Lane 2) is full of cheap and cheerful bars, warungs, cafes, massage salons (starting at 45000 rupiah for full body 1 hour) and accommodation. It's narrow and full of colourful street art.

Recommended cheap eateries for Balinese food and cheap beer:

• Warung Kampung (new kid on the block)  Off Jalan Melasti. Down first lane after Pullman Hotel (Gang Intan) well signposted. Limited but delicious Indonesian menu. Eat like a king. 4 dishes for under $10 Australia (including 15% tip) e.g. Nasi Goreng $A 1.80
• Legian Snacks (Jalan Padma Utara, behind Padma Resort)
• Gong Corner (near Kuta Town Houses) Best Gado Gado in town 12000 rupiah, goes down well with large Bali Hai beer 28000, Big American breakfast 30000 rupiah (A$3)

Best value massage: 

Green Beauty Salon, full body massage 1 hour 60 000 IDR - "Mardi" (she's the best masseuse, in my opinion) can be flexible with the price if business is slow. 

Location: off Jalan Lebak Bene (10 metres down Senen Lane, No 3). Nearest hotels: Pullman, Hotel Puri Tanah Lot, Senen Beach Inn.

Tip: Want the best (budget, not 5 star hotel) Balinese massage? Get an older woman or a guy - stronger and more proficient). At around 55 000 IDR an hour, this is too good to be true.

Does Bali have the best body surfing? How long can you travel? And a word about Bali dogs...

I have body surfed (over a 35 year period) the east and west coast of Australia, Mexico, South Africa but the waves in Kuta Beach, Bali, take some beating. Why else have tourists been flocking there since the 60's?

Legian Beach

On a good day you can travel 50 metres on a wave (sometimes one wave piggy-backs another for extra distance). You body surf until you:
(a) eat sand because you have reached the shallows;
(b) run out of breath;
(c) both.

Go where the surf schools go. These little waves are great for beginners and have maximum distance. Just watch you don't get too close when you body surf.
Legian is also good. I am writing this mid April, the end of the wet season. Seminyak body surfing okay but I can't go as far.

Tips (these might be obvious)

• Wait until the wave is about to break.
• Launch yourself by swimming strongly (freestyle) in front of the wave.
• Streamline your body (hands one on top of the other, fingers together, feet overlapping together, tuck your head under your arms, suck your gut in if you have a bit of 'middle age spread').
• Keep your head DOWN.
• I don't use fins, that's cheatin'
• Wear trunk style bathers, a zip is good for room key, etc. Speedos, second preference. Board shorts take too long to dry and can slow you down in the water.

A word about beach dogs
It is amazing the number of dogs on Bali beaches.  I didn't see so many last year. Legian has packs of stray dogs roaming from dawn 'til dusk. There are also a great dogs with owners (locals and ex pats), walking, playing with balls and paddling in the surf. Labradors are popular. 

The best (full body) $5 massage in Legian, Bali?

Anggita Spa (Jalan Lebak Bene, off Jalan Melasti) is a little gem. Very daggy, but cool inside and a massage table that fitted my head and was long enough for my legs. I had a young bloke ("Ian") and my wife had "Retha". Ian started off by walking across my back, necks and legs - think tenderising meat. Jokes aside, he was an excellent masseur. A perfect blend of strong and relaxing. For an hour - finishing off with a killer neck and back massage. A bargain at 50 000 rupiah (about $5 Australian). A superb massage.

Update
The salon above is now a tattoo parlour. As if there isn't enough. As Australians continue to gain weight, I suppose there's larger "canvases"to work with.

New favourite for 2016:

Green Beauty Salon. One block down Jalan Lebak Bene, Gg. Senen No 3, off Jalan Melasti. Even better. Same price. Ignore brochure price. One hour. My wife assures me the older Balinese masseur was the best.


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Bali Bogan Checklist ... Spot the Aussie

• Stay in Tuban/Kuta (Legian if you are upwardly mobile)
• Wear Bintang tank tops, Rhonda/Ketut tees have gone out of fashion, I was hanging out for some Schappelle Corby t-shirt banter, but no takers.
• Wear peaked cap (with knockoff Designer sunglasses on top- indoors as well)
• Over weight
• Hair braids (including beards)
• Walk around streets sucking on a large Bintang after breakfast (or in lieu of)
• With kids (called Cooper, Maddison or Jayden - out of school holiday period) and grandparents (as baby sitters)
• Last but not least, this is the clincher, tattoos - everywhere - arms, legs, backs, chests. All ages 18 years to old-enough-to-know better. I've seen old farts in their 70's get inked here. The nursing homes are going to be full of wrinkled bodies with dragons.

I suppose it is much cheaper in Bali to get tatts. Back in Australia it could cost thousands. With the cost of budget airfares (e.g. $400-$500 return) you come out a head (a dickhead).

Kuta, Bali Swimming and Body surfing... with the beach to yourself

It's near the end of March (before the Australian Easter holidays and Nyepi Day - March 31), so it's fairly quiet in Kuta. This morning around 7:00 a.m. I had the beach to myself (apart from four frisky dogs).

I'm talking about the strip of Kuta Beach from Hard Rock Hotel to the BeachWalk Mall/Sheraton Hotel.
If you swim in the middle of the day, the tide is in and the waves break too close to the shore - in other words, crap for body surfing.
The beach is quite clean, apart from the occasional plastic bag/sweet wrapper brushing past your legs. The beach graders and cleaners work on the sand early each morning.
If it rains, which it will in March (it's the end of the Wet Season), the beach is nigh on deserted in the middle of the day. No hassling, no sunburn, no glare off the water, no surf schools getting in your way. Very relaxing.
After 16:00 hr is a good time (as the tide is out).
Legian Beach (1km further north) is cleaner. Surf seems to be better in the afternoon, too. Doesn't break as close to the shore.

Tip: To avoid 'swimmer's ear' (earache), wear earplugs. Good old Blu Tack works just as well. If you do get swimmer's ear, you can buy strong eardrops/antibiotics at a local pharmacy (Apotik 15, near Kuta Square). I had acute earache, throbbing, couldn't chew without pain. After 24 hours of treatment, all good.  Price 55 000 rupiah (50 000 rupiah on Jalan Legian, near Jalan Melasti)  A bargain.