"Top of the Lake: China Girl" Review

The first season back in 2013 was a muddled masterpiece - great cast and atmospheric New Zealand locales. Jane Campion's Sydney-based opus is a hot mess.
Nothing rings true. The dialogue is clunky. The characters are unbelievable and unsympathetic. Yes, I get the 'misogyny takes many guises' message. I don't need to be hit over the head with it (the sniggering police recruits, the slimy geeks in the cafe, Mary's smarmy boyfriend Puss - or should that be Pus).
The situations are unreal, rather than quirky. What was the space helmet bit in Miranda's kitchen all about? If I want surreal, I can go to the sublime "Twin Peaks".
Any good stuff?
The bobbing suitcase, Clayton Jacobson's easygoing persona, Jane Campion's daughter, Nicole Kidman's frizzy grey coiff.

Episode 2 (not directed by Campion) was an improvement due to the N.Z. flashback, interesting plot twists and two standout scenes - Robin vs Julia (poor hubby Pyke) and Robin meeting Mary.
Ray, the Medical Examiner (Geoff Morrell), is stealing every scene he is in. I'm warming to Elizabeth Moss's understated performance.
Random weird stuff:

• The New Zealand police acting like 6 year olds on the suspension bridge.
• Miranda's 'open-door' therapy.

Episode 3's florid highlights:

• The overwrought restaurant scene complete with embarrassed customers, the 'c-bomb' and Alexander's chandelier rant. Terrific seeing Marg Downey ("Fast Forward", "Kath & Kim") as Julia's partner. She seems to be typecast as the new age nutbag.
• The return of David Wenham (Al Parker) - wheelchair bound Bond villain transforms into Hitchcockian psycho-killer.

Episode 4 (the nose-biting ep).
No mention of Parker's fate, just more cringeworthy developments.
Just when you thought Alexander couldn't get more detestable, he excels himself at the Father-Daughter bash; then pimps out Mary. The show defies logic. The nose biting scene got more gratuitous by being set on a nudist beach with sweeping views of Sydney's skyline.

Episode 5 (Jane Campion is back in the director's chair) - 59 minutes of my life I will never get back. More tortuous dialogue, implausible situations and a "Taxi Driver"-like denouement that you could see coming mid episode.

Episode 6 (final)
The Bondi Beach manhunt was another unbelievable scene. Why hide on the beach on a 35 degree day?  Because it was cinematic, that's why.
"Top of the Lake: China Girl" should have been a four-parter at the most. This story of loss, parenthood and surrogacy could have been more economically told. The production was ham-fisted and ponderous.

P.S. Small quibble: How could Alexander get a bag of bottled water through airport security?

Lilyhammer Season 3: As quirky as ever

Warm, quirky characters (Roar and the lovable Torgeir are back), black humour, crazy crims, cartoonish violence (e.g. the flare gun scene) and great locales from wintry Norway to steamy Rio - it's all there in the third season of "Lilyhammer".
It's great when shows don't go 'off the boil' after return seasons (unlike "Banshee", "Bates Motel").
The final episode, "Loose Ends", features Maureen Van Zandt, Steven (E Street Band) Van Zandt's real wife, as Frank's ex-wife and Bruce Stringsteen, as Joey the Undertaker. Don't turn off during the closing credits, either.
Season 4 must resolve poor Sigrid's bathroom predicament with her dead ex-boyfriend (Milk pervert).

"American Horror Story - Freak Show" Season 4 The best bits - spoilers

• Creepiest opening titles (no mean feat)
• Jessica Lange (think Marlene Dietrich/Madeline Kahn in "Blazing Saddles")
• Fraulein Elsa's rendition of Bowie's "Life On Mars". Who cares if it was written nearly 20 years after this story is set (Sarah Poulson has 2 heads, Angela Bassett has 3 breasts, for crying out loud!)
• Lobster Boy (Evan Peters) spicing up a 50's Tupperware party
• Kathy Bates (with endearing Maryland accent) as the bearded lady
• Angela Bassett's unique rack
• Finn ("The Normal Heart") Wittrock as creepy momma's boy, Danny Mott. Liked his 'double date' at the movies in Episode 6.
• The use of John Morris's score for "The Elephant Man" in Episode 1.
• Hearing a new version of Siouxsie and the Banshees' "Spellbound" (1981) in Episode 2.
• The nifty black and white sequence in Episode 3, filmed like a German expression silent film.
• Roxy Music's "Avalon" in the 1952 gay bar.
• Wondering if Episode 5 is the most homoerotic episode of AHS to date.
• Elsa bombing bigtime singing "Life On Mars" to the rubes.
• Finn's unique puppet show featuring mom and the Avon lady (Episode 9)
• Finn's Tupperware themed pool party (also Episode 9)
• The recreation of two classic scenes from "Freaks" in Episode 12 (penultimate ep)
• Danny Huston playing a variation on Pinocchio's Geppetto with Crab-boy.
• "Noone gives a shit about Cole Porter" (Episode 13)
• The reprise of "Life on Mars" and the theme from the "The Elephant Man"
• Elsa wows Hollywood in 1960 and final scene freak reunion (to the tune of Bowie's "Heroes")

This season makes you want to rewatch all of Tod Browning's "Freaks" (1932).

"The Mimic" Series 2, Channel 4

Surprisingly we get a second series of this bittersweet little show. I thought six episodes pretty much covered Martin and his world but writer, Matt Morgan has more to tell. I enjoyed Morgan Freeman as a hobbit, the altercation with the living statue busker (why people worldwide enjoy these gilt painted plonkers, I'll never understand) and a quick Harry Potter repertoire.
After watching the second episode there is definitely a sameness about this little show. I think the producer should have stopped at the perfect first series. Highlights: the dying mum's video to her son (not maudlin, though) and the use of Kermit and David Attenborough as sex aids. Oh and we did get a smattering of Wogan in the mix.
Episode 3's highlights were "The Shining" routine in the factory and duelling impressionists in the tunnel.
In Episode 4 we got more Michael Caine(with this show and "The Trip" I think we have Michael Caine overkill).
Episode 5 (the stag weekend in the health spa) was the most satisfying so far. Nice to see the Peter Wright (Denise's uncle in "The Paradise") and Doreen Mantle (Mrs Warboys in "One Foot in the Grave") as Martin's dad and gran. Martin's prospective brother-in-law is a perfect foil for nervous Neil (Neil Maskell).
Satisfying conclusion in Episode 6.
Two delightful scenes: the mistaken identity bit in the toilet cubicle and the final scene with Martin swapping stretch limo for pink Fiat.

"Fleming; The Man Who Would Be Bond" BBC America, 4 part miniseries, review

Well, the title says it all. This is enjoyable codswallop. Much like the films. The fun is to try and spot the links with the movies/novels e.g. martinis, exotic locales, playing chemin de fer with abandon, starains of Monty Norman's original James Bond theme in the score, the red leather door on the boss's office, Miss Moneypenny/Monday character in naval intelligence ("Why Monday, I don't know what I'd do without you!" exclaims Fleming). But it really is incredibly cheesy and surprisingly dull and predictable in parts. The first scene lost me with the too modern-cut red bikini worn by Ann Fleming (1952?).
This fluffy mini-series looks great, is mercifully short (each of the 4 episodes only 42 minutes) and Dominic Cooper (Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter) is suave but far too good looking for the hawk-nosed author/bon vivant.
Episode 3 features the phrase "licence to kill" as well as a heavy dose of sado-masochism.
Clunky dialogue: "this bloody war" "You're playing with fire"... and exclamations like, "Surely the Germans won't take Paris!" I can imagine "The Guardian" reviews now....
I rather enjoyed the final episode, though. Fleming anticipating the Cold War, his shenanigans in the Tambach fortress (blurring the lines between fact and fantasy), the exploding pens/micro cameras and Ken Adam inspired set in the opening scene. Later I spotted the fabulous glass ceiling in the German lab, last used in NBC's "Dracula".

If you want a more accurate tale full of booze and bitchery, seek out the docu-drama "Ian Fleming: Bondmaker" (2005). In this version the Flemings fought constantly. Ann Fleming had an affair with the then Labour Party leader.
The 1956 film of  "The Man Who Never Was" is also recommended (see Episode 3).

"Dracula" Episode 10, finale, NBC TV series, 2013, spoilers

"Dracula" went out with a bang, literally. Bye bye to wireless electricity.
 Lots to like in the final episode (with possibly no Season 2 due to low ratings). The creator, Cole Haddon, was the writer for this finale. Although Harker and Van Helsing (love his nifty crucifixes) seem to be geared up for a vampire hunt in the last scene (shades of  the final scene of 1979 version of "Salem's Lot".
Van Helsing goes postal - mayhem in his lab, knifing good one Renfield (I'll miss that big dude) and a creepy revenge scene (kids putting the bite on daddy in the cellar). As Nigel Powers told Austin, "Never trust the Dutch, son."
The Italian seer was underused (loved his cool specs). The Jane/Grayson fist fight could have been much longer (a la "Banshee" fight scenes).
It's been a fun (and sumptuous to look at) ride - Victorian melodrama, bodice-ripping, dismemberment, blood lust, steampunk, a spot of lesbianism, secret societies, revenge and eternal love.

"Broadchurch" ITV Series 1 final episode Episode 8 review Season 2

When I started watching this crime series I thought it was too drawn out, a bit like "Top of the Lake" goes to Dorset. What is it with bleak, desolate places and dark secrets. Ask anyone from Adelaide. Oh dear, I have offended my wife. I will retract that remark or I'm cooking for myself tonight.
By about Episode 5, I was sucked in. Probably when Pauline Quirke came into it. The characters are well fleshed out, the interweaving of stories compelling. Lots of grey, tortured characters. This show would had  less rounded characters and more car chases if it had been on U.S. free to air.
David Tennant shows what a fine actor he is. Olivia Colman (a delight as the mum in "Beautiful People") played well opposite him as DS Ellie Miller. Her scene when told the truth about her husband was heartbreaking. Ellie's whole world is upended.
In fact the last 20 minutes of the show was almost too painful to watch, albeit beautifully acted. The uplifting beacons along the coast was a moving final scene.
One wonders who will be featured in the series 2, as the two leads seem to have been written out (DI Hardy's heart condition, DS Miller can hardly stay in town).

UPDATE
Season 2 Knocked my socks off.
Tennant and Colman return. Only the Brits could get away with this so flawlessly. It's now not: who-done-it but a did-he-do-it? Charlotte Rampling (so wasted in the atrocious final season of "Dexter") chews up the scenery.
Rarely do you see a second season surpass the first.