"Top of the Lake: China Girl" Review

The first season back in 2013 was a muddled masterpiece - great cast and atmospheric New Zealand locales. Jane Campion's Sydney-based opus is a hot mess.
Nothing rings true. The dialogue is clunky. The characters are unbelievable and unsympathetic. Yes, I get the 'misogyny takes many guises' message. I don't need to be hit over the head with it (the sniggering police recruits, the slimy geeks in the cafe, Mary's smarmy boyfriend Puss - or should that be Pus).
The situations are unreal, rather than quirky. What was the space helmet bit in Miranda's kitchen all about? If I want surreal, I can go to the sublime "Twin Peaks".
Any good stuff?
The bobbing suitcase, Clayton Jacobson's easygoing persona, Jane Campion's daughter, Nicole Kidman's frizzy grey coiff.

Episode 2 (not directed by Campion) was an improvement due to the N.Z. flashback, interesting plot twists and two standout scenes - Robin vs Julia (poor hubby Pyke) and Robin meeting Mary.
Ray, the Medical Examiner (Geoff Morrell), is stealing every scene he is in. I'm warming to Elizabeth Moss's understated performance.
Random weird stuff:

• The New Zealand police acting like 6 year olds on the suspension bridge.
• Miranda's 'open-door' therapy.

Episode 3's florid highlights:

• The overwrought restaurant scene complete with embarrassed customers, the 'c-bomb' and Alexander's chandelier rant. Terrific seeing Marg Downey ("Fast Forward", "Kath & Kim") as Julia's partner. She seems to be typecast as the new age nutbag.
• The return of David Wenham (Al Parker) - wheelchair bound Bond villain transforms into Hitchcockian psycho-killer.

Episode 4 (the nose-biting ep).
No mention of Parker's fate, just more cringeworthy developments.
Just when you thought Alexander couldn't get more detestable, he excels himself at the Father-Daughter bash; then pimps out Mary. The show defies logic. The nose biting scene got more gratuitous by being set on a nudist beach with sweeping views of Sydney's skyline.

Episode 5 (Jane Campion is back in the director's chair) - 59 minutes of my life I will never get back. More tortuous dialogue, implausible situations and a "Taxi Driver"-like denouement that you could see coming mid episode.

Episode 6 (final)
The Bondi Beach manhunt was another unbelievable scene. Why hide on the beach on a 35 degree day?  Because it was cinematic, that's why.
"Top of the Lake: China Girl" should have been a four-parter at the most. This story of loss, parenthood and surrogacy could have been more economically told. The production was ham-fisted and ponderous.

P.S. Small quibble: How could Alexander get a bag of bottled water through airport security?

"Da Vinci's Demons" TV series Starz Episode 2 "The Serpent" review, minor spoilers

Better than the first episode. Just as silly but with more substance. You need to forget about what Renaissance history you learnt in school and just sit back and enjoy this stuff. It's like Indiana Jones meets "National Treasure" (particularly the last scene). David S. Goyer (creator) has taken a  few key facts of the period and then gone on a roller coaster ride.
Goyer seems to like to shock the viewer with his first scene in each ep. Last week it was the naughty, soon to be stabbed Duke of Milan. This week it's a circumcised member ("I haven't seen one of those before" intones a girl). By the way, 'the hanged man' is quite well hung. We then get a very graphic autopsy performed by Leonardo.
"The Serpent" refers to the Pope's nephew, Count Riario (Blake Ritson). My new favourite character. If there was a railroad track in Florence, he'd have tied half a dozen damsels to it. He just has to put up with old fashioned decapitation and a nifty torture device called The Widow's Tear.
Once again there is the gorgeous black and white animation (the mechanics of the dual keys and lock). Our swashbuckling hero escapes up the scaffolding of the Duomo - a great scene. Tom Riley is definitely doing a bit of Sherlock (Johnny Miller version) when reconstructing the fate of the Jew and the Book of Leaves.
Loved the quarry scene - say hello to Leo's "little friend".
Da Vinci's mates are good value, the loyal servant, Nico the irreverent Zoroaster (whose favourite turn of phrase is not "Mamma Mia!" but a very English: "F*ck me!").
The use of colour to signify the two worlds - evil, forbidding, secretive Rome - shadowy scenes in the Vatican, black clad villains and the decadent, but enlightened Florence of the Medicis - garish colours, fireworks, torches, extravagant bejewelled costumes. Check out the Adam and Eve floorshow in the Medici ball scene.
Knowledge and the control of knowledge is the theme of the series (as well as bonking and butchery, of course, it's cable!)
The final scene with Leo perched above the grid pattern of pages was inpirational.

"Bates Motel" Episode 5 "Ocean View" TV series, A and E, recap, review

Emma Decody (Olivia Cooke), super sleuth (Nancy Drew avec wheelie oxygen tank) is back. I've missed her. She shares Norman's taste in dorky sweater choices (crap stripes, Fair Isle?).  She finally tracks down Asian sex slave, Jiao. Emma asks Norman to clean up Jiao's vom back at the Bates Motel .... Norman, steer clear of the shower, that comes LATER.

Norma is becoming a real worry for Norman.  Looking unusually normal, he comes swaggering home (sans crap sweater) from an amorous night with Bradley, only to meet unforgiving, guilt-trip-inducing Norma, fresh out of the slammer. Poor Norman, a psycho in the making. The scene in the Mercedes with Norma and Normette is a beauty. Two exceptional actors (Vera Farmiga, Freddie Highmore) show their stuff.
Dylan (is it me, or does his top row of choppers look different since the last ep) is the voice of reason in this affair. The two bros looked cute on the motor bike. Dylan has no time for Norma. For good reason. Who will she top in the next episode?  Loverboy, Deputy Shelby, the only one who knows about the incriminating evidence?