From the Video Vault: "Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter" (1974) Definitely a cult classic

This intriguing effort from Hammer sat on the shelf for 2 years. The main problem the audience had was probably the lack of usual Hammer horror stars : Lee, Cushing, Michael Gough, Ingrid Pitt. We do have two Hammer stalwarts, Shane Briant (playing poncy young Mr Durward) and sultry Caroline Munro (who acquits herself nicely as Kronos's roll-in-the-hay interest, Ms Munro has straw-encrusted hair in several shots).

The lead, German actor Horst Janson (with 70's boofy hairstyle), was huge in Europe but unknown in the U.K. Ian Hendry steals scenes in the middle of the film (there is an excellent Kill Bill-esque tavern samurai sword scene). 

Wanting something fresh and quirky, Hammer went with Brian Clemens (TV's "The Avengers", "Thriller") as writer/director. The film is produced by Clemens and Albert Finnell ("The Avengers"). Laurie Johnson ("The Avengers") scored the film.

There's the usual budget-saving "day-for-night" photography, some cheesy dialogue ("Mind you get back before dark, now!") and a loyal hunchback off-sider, Grost. Clemens is clearly having lots of fun. There were plans for this to be a series of films. A shame.
The plot involving a stranger who battles evil is more like a Western, then you add youth-draining vampires and the infamous Karnstein family to the mix.
There's a rather nasty extended scene (around the 50 minute mark) where Kronos and Co discover it is harder to kill a vampire than they expected. It reminded me a bit of the gristly farmhouse murder in Hitchcock's "Torn Curtain".

Questions:

•  Perhaps I was dozing, but why does our hero (when he's not boffing the buxom wench and sword fighting) wear a pillow case on his head?
• What's the bit about the bendy crucifix (definitely a cinema first)?

Possible drinking game:

Take a shot every time you see Shane Briant "doing a teapot" (standing elbow bent, his left hand on his waist).

Not sure whether the last name in the closing credits is a pisstake or merely unfortunate:

"Whore - Penny Price"

PS  The YouTube version is 4 minutes shorter than the DVD version (91 mins).

The A-Z of forgotten (but good fun) films

The Assassination Bureau (1969, Oliver Reed, Diana Rigg)
Bedazzled (1967, Peter Cook & Dudley Moore)
The Cat and the Canary (1939, Bob Hope and Paulette Goddard)
Danger: Diabolik (1967, see it just for John Phillip Law's bonkers underground lair)
Experiment in Terror (1962, who knew Blake Edwards could make thrillers?)
The Face of Fu Manchu (1965, typical Hammer Films class)
Hackers (1995, Jonny Lee Miller, and a punky Angelina Jolie)
Into the Night (1985, John Landis includes a truckful of his favourite directors in cameos)
The Jokers (1966, yes, Michael Winner can make a good film)
The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977, see it for the Bruce Lee sendup movie)
Lady on a Train (1945, nifty whodunit, Deanna Durbin even gets a chance to sing)
Murder by Decree (1979,versatile director Bob Clark's take on Sherlock vs Jack the Ripper)
The Nanny (1965, another Hammer gem, Bette Davis chewing up the scenery)
The Only Game in Town (1970, Elizabeth Taylor, Warren Beatty, George Stevens directed)
Pretty Poison (1968, the gorgeous Tuesday Weld and weirdo Anthony Perkins up to no good)
Queen of Spades (1949, atmospheric British gem)
Raw Meat (1972, cannibals in the London underground, originally titled Deathline)
Starstruck (1982, Australian pop music/media satire, great score, look out for Geoffrey Rush)
Take the Money and Run (1968, Woody Allen's first movie as actor/writer/director, patchy but some gags are the funniest he has every written)
The Uninvited (1944, ripper haunted house flick, Ray Milland and Ruth Hussey)
Valley Girl (1983, Martha Coolidge's 80's time capsule, Nicolas Cage has hair - gelled of course, great soundtrack)
What a Way to Go! (1964, huge cast, black comedy/movie genres satire, overblown but very watchable)
X - The Man with X-ray Eyes (1963, Roger Corman's creepy B sci fi set in Las Vegas, killer finale)
Young Sherlock Holmes (1985, great production values, nice tone, stay around the post-credits scene)
Zulu (1964, riveting, excellent British cast, you won't forget the image of the warriors lining the ridge)

From the video vault: "Death Line" (UK), "Raw Meat" (US) Low budget horror from 1972/1973

Let's get the negatives out of the way first.
It's under 90 minutes, but the uneven pacing makes it seem longer. The musical score is atrocious, the dialogue ranges from banal ("My shampoo, please!!!") to seemingly improvised (see Donald Pleasence in the pub) to surprisingly witty. The acting of the young couple is woeful.

Now the other side of the coin: it's wildly atmospheric, well photographed (the derelict station scenes make this low budget effort look amazing) and quite poignant in parts. The idea of descendants of the original tunnel workers surviving in a disused line (circa 1890's)of the London Underground is intriguing and original, being infected and reduced to cannibalism (tube commuters, beware) - gory, graphic and creepy. When the remaining mutant screams "Mind the doors!" you think: "Where was this line in those lists of memorable movie quotes?" This is a cult classic territory.
The decidedly odd tone of the film begins with the bowler hatted pervert doing a Soho tour of sleaze and continues with the bizarre cameo of Christopher Lee as a MI5 toff.  The underground tunnel home of the cannibals features an incredibly long tracking shot with dripping (blood, seepage) the only sound. Donald Pleasence (he has top billing) has great fun in the role of the manic police inspector - ranting Cockney-esque "this is my manor", berating the office's teabags, switching to a toffy accent, throwing darts at his door and making throwaway sardonic comments. He is a joy to behold.
Lots to like. Two Bond villains in the cast (Blofeld and Scaramanga), the settings look like actual tube stations, albeit disused.
Trivia: Russell Square is on the Piccadilly Line (but the platform sign reads "District Line"). The train is correctly labelled "Cockfosters". The director was American (Gary Sherman). Definitely worth devoting 87 minutes of your life to.

NB. God dag, to all my Swedish readers, why so many page views, or is this just a pesky spammer?

Movies you can see again .... and again

I normally watch a movie once, never wishing to repeat the experience. But there are a few special films that are worth revisiting. Some are classics, some just damn good entertainment. I am ignoring cult movies like the overrated "Rocky Horror Picture Show".
Here's my list. I could probably add more musicals but I will restrain myself....

• The Wizard of Oz (1939)
• Gypsy (1962)
• A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (1966)
• Mrs Doubtfire (1993)
• Tootsie (1982) It has to have the best cast ever assembled for a comedy (let's not talk about Kramer's misfire, It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World)
• Goldfinger (1964)
• M*A*S*H (1970)
• Bring It On (2000)
• any film from the Austin Powers trilogy (just scratch Fat Bastard - unfunny)
• Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)
• To Kill a Mockingbird (1962) - if my tearducts are up to it
• You Only Live Twice" (1967) - yes, I am a Bond tragic
• The French Connection (1971)
• Chinatown (1974)
• All about Eve (1950)
• The African Queen (1952)
• Young Frankenstein (1975)
• Blazing Saddles (1974)
• My Favourite Year (1982) - Loosely based on '50s live TV comedy show "Your Show of Shows", featuring Peter O'Toole as boozy Errol Flynn-ish character, Lainie Kazan steals scenes, warm and funny script, Mel Brooks produced.
• The Producers (1968) - yes, I am a Mel Brooks fan also
• Some Like It Hot (1959)
• The Night of the Hunter (1955) Sublime Southern gothic/German Expressionist influenced, Charles Laughton pulling out all the stops as director, Mitchum is chilling.
• Jaws (1975)
• Taxi Driver (1976)
• The Godfather (1972)

any suggestions?