From the Video Vault: "Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter" (1974) Definitely a cult classic

This intriguing effort from Hammer sat on the shelf for 2 years. The main problem the audience had was probably the lack of usual Hammer horror stars : Lee, Cushing, Michael Gough, Ingrid Pitt. We do have two Hammer stalwarts, Shane Briant (playing poncy young Mr Durward) and sultry Caroline Munro (who acquits herself nicely as Kronos's roll-in-the-hay interest, Ms Munro has straw-encrusted hair in several shots).

The lead, German actor Horst Janson (with 70's boofy hairstyle), was huge in Europe but unknown in the U.K. Ian Hendry steals scenes in the middle of the film (there is an excellent Kill Bill-esque tavern samurai sword scene). 

Wanting something fresh and quirky, Hammer went with Brian Clemens (TV's "The Avengers", "Thriller") as writer/director. The film is produced by Clemens and Albert Finnell ("The Avengers"). Laurie Johnson ("The Avengers") scored the film.

There's the usual budget-saving "day-for-night" photography, some cheesy dialogue ("Mind you get back before dark, now!") and a loyal hunchback off-sider, Grost. Clemens is clearly having lots of fun. There were plans for this to be a series of films. A shame.
The plot involving a stranger who battles evil is more like a Western, then you add youth-draining vampires and the infamous Karnstein family to the mix.
There's a rather nasty extended scene (around the 50 minute mark) where Kronos and Co discover it is harder to kill a vampire than they expected. It reminded me a bit of the gristly farmhouse murder in Hitchcock's "Torn Curtain".

Questions:

•  Perhaps I was dozing, but why does our hero (when he's not boffing the buxom wench and sword fighting) wear a pillow case on his head?
• What's the bit about the bendy crucifix (definitely a cinema first)?

Possible drinking game:

Take a shot every time you see Shane Briant "doing a teapot" (standing elbow bent, his left hand on his waist).

Not sure whether the last name in the closing credits is a pisstake or merely unfortunate:

"Whore - Penny Price"

PS  The YouTube version is 4 minutes shorter than the DVD version (91 mins).

The A-Z of forgotten (but good fun) films

The Assassination Bureau (1969, Oliver Reed, Diana Rigg)
Bedazzled (1967, Peter Cook & Dudley Moore)
The Cat and the Canary (1939, Bob Hope and Paulette Goddard)
Danger: Diabolik (1967, see it just for John Phillip Law's bonkers underground lair)
Experiment in Terror (1962, who knew Blake Edwards could make thrillers?)
The Face of Fu Manchu (1965, typical Hammer Films class)
Hackers (1995, Jonny Lee Miller, and a punky Angelina Jolie)
Into the Night (1985, John Landis includes a truckful of his favourite directors in cameos)
The Jokers (1966, yes, Michael Winner can make a good film)
The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977, see it for the Bruce Lee sendup movie)
Lady on a Train (1945, nifty whodunit, Deanna Durbin even gets a chance to sing)
Murder by Decree (1979,versatile director Bob Clark's take on Sherlock vs Jack the Ripper)
The Nanny (1965, another Hammer gem, Bette Davis chewing up the scenery)
The Only Game in Town (1970, Elizabeth Taylor, Warren Beatty, George Stevens directed)
Pretty Poison (1968, the gorgeous Tuesday Weld and weirdo Anthony Perkins up to no good)
Queen of Spades (1949, atmospheric British gem)
Raw Meat (1972, cannibals in the London underground, originally titled Deathline)
Starstruck (1982, Australian pop music/media satire, great score, look out for Geoffrey Rush)
Take the Money and Run (1968, Woody Allen's first movie as actor/writer/director, patchy but some gags are the funniest he has every written)
The Uninvited (1944, ripper haunted house flick, Ray Milland and Ruth Hussey)
Valley Girl (1983, Martha Coolidge's 80's time capsule, Nicolas Cage has hair - gelled of course, great soundtrack)
What a Way to Go! (1964, huge cast, black comedy/movie genres satire, overblown but very watchable)
X - The Man with X-ray Eyes (1963, Roger Corman's creepy B sci fi set in Las Vegas, killer finale)
Young Sherlock Holmes (1985, great production values, nice tone, stay around the post-credits scene)
Zulu (1964, riveting, excellent British cast, you won't forget the image of the warriors lining the ridge)

"Da Vinci's Demons" Episode 3 "The Prisoner" Starz TV series, review, no spoilers

A great episode this week.
Our hero often looks like he is battling ADHD, but then so does Johnny Lee Miller in "Elementary".
Leo, in much of the series, is either drugged or drunk - dealing with his 'demons'. And we had quite a few demons in this episode - either real or imagined.
Da Vinci finds an ally in the usually incompetent Giulino Medici (Tom Bateman). Who knew? Loved the possessed nuns (very Ken Russell's "The Devils", 1971). The atmospheric abbey was quite Hammer Horror. More please. We had Leo solving the mystery of the wacky nuns while our favourite villain, Riario (Blake Ritson) talks strategies with the mysterious prisoner. Their board game of black and white pieces looks like the ancient Asian game of Go.
This game is played throughout the episode, parallelling the machinations occurring in Florence. A clever touch, Mr Goyer. As well as the motif of the caged parrot, who can escape but does not.
More furious bird sketching in the marketplace (such a great scene in Episode 1). The brief shot of sunrise over Florence was glorious.
Clarice Orsini (the very busy Lara Pulver - the lovely Irene Adler in "Sherlock", also in "Spooks" and "True Blood" - all great shows) proves herself to be no fool. Beware, Lucrezia.
Liked the blindman's quality control in the arms factory, Leo's spontaneous painting-licking and the frenzied bonking among the Medici horses (a stable relationship between Lorenzo and his filly???).
Leo's feverish nightmares were particularly graphic this week - reanimated corpses, scalpels and ripping apart chest cavities.
I assume we will see more of Riario's Abyssinian slave (if the naughty pope doesn't monopolise her time).