Bali Bogan Checklist ... Spot the Aussie

• Stay in Tuban/Kuta (Legian if you are upwardly mobile)
• Wear Bintang tank tops, Rhonda/Ketut tees have gone out of fashion, I was hanging out for some Schappelle Corby t-shirt banter, but no takers.
• Wear peaked cap (with knockoff Designer sunglasses on top- indoors as well)
• Over weight
• Hair braids (including beards)
• Walk around streets sucking on a large Bintang after breakfast (or in lieu of)
• With kids (called Cooper, Maddison or Jayden - out of school holiday period) and grandparents (as baby sitters)
• Last but not least, this is the clincher, tattoos - everywhere - arms, legs, backs, chests. All ages 18 years to old-enough-to-know better. I've seen old farts in their 70's get inked here. The nursing homes are going to be full of wrinkled bodies with dragons.

I suppose it is much cheaper in Bali to get tatts. Back in Australia it could cost thousands. With the cost of budget airfares (e.g. $400-$500 return) you come out a head (a dickhead).