The pain of being a crap blogger

You're about to go to sleep.... when you think of a great idea for a blog post.
Movies with exclamation marks in their title - it's a dead giveaway - they're either horror/exploitation movies (countless drive-in fodder), trying too hard ("What A Way To Go!), a pisstake ("The Informant!", "Airplane!", "Mars Attacks!") or a musical "Oliver!", "Moulin Rouge!", "Oklahoma!", "Mamma Mia!"). Well, that was my great (original?) idea. Sounds good at 11:30 at night.
Then I google the punctuated movie titles.
Crap ... stacks of posts already, better written and researched than the above.
FAIL.
But my theory stands.

The battle of the i-pod playlists

On a road trip at the moment, travelling from Melbourne, north to Sunshine Coast, around 4000 km round trip.  It is the battle of the i-pod playlists in the car.

My wife’s playlist is a lot broader than mine and a lot more hard core:

The Beat, House of Pain, Cypress Hill, Sex Pistols, Stranglers, Joy Division, Led Zeppelin, David Bowie, The Models, Hunters And Collectors, The Clash, Ian Dury, Roxy Music, UB 40, Simple Minds, Echo and the Bunnymen,  The Smiths, Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Nick Cave, Butthole Surfers, Wall of Voodoo, Nina Hagen, Malcolm McLaren, The Cure,  Souxie and the Banshees , Rammstein - mainly 70’s and 80’s alternative (like being stuck in a John Hughes movie),  with a smattering of 90’s and newer stuff.  Some opera, “Ride of the Valkeries” and “Madam Butterfly” is in the mix too.

My playlist sounds very gay in comparison – some musical soundtracks (mainly Sondheim), Pet Shop Boys, The Presets, Scritti Politti, Heaven 17, New Order, Culture Club (“Time”), Mental As Anything (“Berserk Warriors”), EMF (“Unbelievable”) Hurts, Blur, Kate Bush, The Police,

We have some overlaps:

U.K. Squeeze “Kool  for Kats”, Lou Reed “Walk on the Wild Side”, New Order “Bizarre Love Triangle”, “World in Motion”, The Clash “Rock the Casbah”, The Church “Under the Milky Way”, Amy Whitehouse “Back in Black”, Violent Femmes  “Blister in the Sun”, Duran Duran “Planet Earth”, The Verve's "Bitter Sweet Symphony"

Anyway, it made the kilometres pass.

The best and worst movie stage musical adaptations

Which musicals made the transfer from stage to screen unscathed?  Here's one person's opinion.

The best musical adaptations:

• "Les Miserables" 2012
• "My Fair Lady" 1964
• "Little Shop of Horrors" 1986
• "Oliver!" 1968
• "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying" 1967
• "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" 1966
• "Gypsy" 1962
• "Chicago" 2002
• "Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street" 2007(Tim Burton doing Sondheim! How good can it get?)

The worst musical adaptations:

• "Annie" 1982 version (poor John Huston)
• "Jesus Christ Superstar" 1973
• "Man of La Mancha" 1972 (calling this a turkey is high praise)
• "Hair" 1979 (just because the timing was wrong, 1968 becomes 1979?)
• "The Wiz" 1978 (poor Sidney Lumet)
• "Evita" 1996 (Madge as Evita sounded good on paper)

Too easy section (the makers couldn't possibly stuff it up):

• "The Sound of Music" 1966
• "West Side Story" 1961
• "Oklahoma" 1955
• "South Pacific" 1957
• "The King and I" 1956
• "Fiddler on the Roof" 1971
• "Funny Girl" 1968

The jury is still out (I'm fence sitting)

• "Hello Dolly" 1969
• "Paint Your Wagon" 1969
• "Camelot" 1967
• "Sweet Charity" 1968
• "Grease" 1978
• "Dreamgirls" 2006
• "The Producers" 2005
• "Guys and Dolls" 1955
• "A Chorus Line" 1985

Movie studio turkeys - a list of crappy blockbusters 1956-1982

"The Conqueror" 1956 The behind the scenes story is more interesting than the film. Blame Howard Hughes.

"Pepe" 1960  Poopy is more like it. Watch the stellar cast look uncomfortable for over 3 hours!

"Casino Royale" 1967  a royal stuff up, even Woody Allen's antics and Burt Bacharach's music can't save this multi-million dollar dud.

"A Countess From Hong Kong" 1967 Charles Chaplin wank fest, good cast wasted, his last movie, thank God.

"Doctor Dolittle" 1967 Is there a doctor in the house, this movie has no pulse. Another way of blackmail your sprogs to be good.

"Boom" 1968 (Bomb, methinks)  Elizabeth Taylor,Richard Burton, Noel Coward, Joseph Losey directing. What could go wrong? Everything.

"Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" 1968 If your kids are misbehaving, threaten to hire this, they will be angels. 145 minutes of steaming faeces

"Skidoo"  1968 Otto Preminger made this unfunny comedy one year after the lame "Hurry Sundown"

"Darling Lili"  1970  Blake Edwards directed his then-wife Julie Andrews in this overproduced mess. Glossy but sooooo long. Scriptwriter Blatty went on to write "The Exorcist" (ka-ching, he would have been set for life)
"Man of La Mancha"  1972  One of the reasons Hollywood stopped making so many musicals.

"Lost Horizon" 1973  Peter Finch sings to Liv Ullmann in Shangri-La. Hope your sphincter holds out.

"Airport 1975" 1974 Camp value only - part inspiration for "Airplane!" piss take

"Rosebud" 1975  No connection to Citizen Kane. Unwatchable Otto Preminger dross.


"Exorcist II:The Heretic" 1977, so much talent wasted in this crap sequel - John Boorman, Richard Burton, Louise Fletcher, James Earl Jones

"The Swarm" 1978 Michael Caine and killer bees - a B movie - unintentionally funny disaster flick.

"Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart Club Band" 1978 Mr Stigwood, more is less,okay?  Worst mash up since "Casino Royale" 1967. Blame all the coke available at the time.

"The Wiz"  1978  Yes, Sidney Lumet directed this. Oh dear.

"Wholly Moses!" 1980 Dudley Moore....more is less. A cast full of top comedy actors being unfunny.

"Popeye"  1980 Only worth seeing for the Sweethaven built in Malta.

"Annie"  1982  Everything you loved about this great Broadway show, you will hate in this. John Huston's worst movie. The great songs are ruined.

A-Z of little luxuries I can't live without

A   alcohol - there, I have said it!
B   bagels
C   cruise control
D   downloading
E   email
F   furniture from Ikea
G   good musicals
H   holidays (a break from routine)
I   Internet (have no idea why it needs uppercase)
J   jets (preferably up the pointy end)
K   kitsch
L   lollies (especially chocolate)
M   massage chairs
N   noise-reducing headphones
O   old movies/open fires (dead heat)
P   puzzles
Q   Qi -  with Stephen Fry  
R   reading a good book
S   sat nav in the car
T   tequila/talking crap
U   upscale hotels
V   vodka
W   wine
X   X Benedict (eggs - okay, I was desperate)
Y   yoghurt
Z   "zzzzzz" snoozing in the hammock