From the Video Vault: "Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter" (1974) Definitely a cult classic

This intriguing effort from Hammer sat on the shelf for 2 years. The main problem the audience had was probably the lack of usual Hammer horror stars : Lee, Cushing, Michael Gough, Ingrid Pitt. We do have two Hammer stalwarts, Shane Briant (playing poncy young Mr Durward) and sultry Caroline Munro (who acquits herself nicely as Kronos's roll-in-the-hay interest, Ms Munro has straw-encrusted hair in several shots).

The lead, German actor Horst Janson (with 70's boofy hairstyle), was huge in Europe but unknown in the U.K. Ian Hendry steals scenes in the middle of the film (there is an excellent Kill Bill-esque tavern samurai sword scene). 

Wanting something fresh and quirky, Hammer went with Brian Clemens (TV's "The Avengers", "Thriller") as writer/director. The film is produced by Clemens and Albert Finnell ("The Avengers"). Laurie Johnson ("The Avengers") scored the film.

There's the usual budget-saving "day-for-night" photography, some cheesy dialogue ("Mind you get back before dark, now!") and a loyal hunchback off-sider, Grost. Clemens is clearly having lots of fun. There were plans for this to be a series of films. A shame.
The plot involving a stranger who battles evil is more like a Western, then you add youth-draining vampires and the infamous Karnstein family to the mix.
There's a rather nasty extended scene (around the 50 minute mark) where Kronos and Co discover it is harder to kill a vampire than they expected. It reminded me a bit of the gristly farmhouse murder in Hitchcock's "Torn Curtain".

Questions:

•  Perhaps I was dozing, but why does our hero (when he's not boffing the buxom wench and sword fighting) wear a pillow case on his head?
• What's the bit about the bendy crucifix (definitely a cinema first)?

Possible drinking game:

Take a shot every time you see Shane Briant "doing a teapot" (standing elbow bent, his left hand on his waist).

Not sure whether the last name in the closing credits is a pisstake or merely unfortunate:

"Whore - Penny Price"

PS  The YouTube version is 4 minutes shorter than the DVD version (91 mins).

When good turns to evil. Charity bags polluting Melbourne's waterways. Rant No 2: The curse of bottled water.

How festive, charity bags festoon the trees, Glen Waverley.

Scotchman's Creek, in Melbourne's south-east, after a heavy shower

Almost weekly you get a plastic charity bag in your letterbox (for your old clothes, shoes, homewares ready for later collection). All well and good, but the majority of the empty bags end up drifting into the gutters, into the stormwater and hence into the urban waterways. Melbourne's creeks and streams flow into the waterways like the Yarra River or straight into Port Phillip Bay.
The plastic mess is supplemented by plastics bottles and polystyrene (caused by morons overpacking or incorrectly filling home recycling bins).
Why people buy bottled water in the first place, is a mystery to me. Melbourne's drinking water is excellent (and free). But you see people with supermarket trolleys filled with cases of bottled water (it's Australia, not China, for crying out loud).
Well, there's my rant for today.

Scourge of the Suburbs: Knock down and Rebuild

Goodbye houses with character and a decent front and back garden in the suburbs. Hello McMansions.

In Australia the average family size in 1966 was 3.5 people, now it's around 2.4. How come houses are getting bigger? Now people MUST have at least 4 bedrooms, home theatre/rumpus room, study, an outdoor room (because there's only a pocket handkerchief sized backyard) and a butler's pantry/second kitchen for Christ sake. More to heat, cool, clean and maintain. What will these McMansions look like in 50 years' time? 

Us working class baby-boomers lived in the family 3 bedroom house - all crowded around the black and white telly in the lounge ("the good room").

Established trees are chopped down. With no space for an established garden, our suburbs are becoming soulless, no longer homes for native wildlife and hotter in summer. 

New owners are either time-poor (too busy paying off the mortgage to devote time to gardening) or have no desire to keep up a garden.

"Mr Robot" - the best new US TV show of 2015?

Not from HBO, Netflix or even FX or Showtime, but from USA Network. Who would have guessed it? This show grabs you from the start and then provides constant twists and turns. The viewer is never treated like an idiot.
A savvy script, moody NYC locales and a standout performance by Rami Malek (the pharaoh in the "Night at the Museum" films) as the dysfunctional super hacker, Elliot, make this engrossing television.
Some of Elliot's rants (to himself or his shrink) are priceless. Christian Slater (the go-to guy in 80's and 90's if you wanted a cool, smart alek, e.g. "Heathers" and "Pump up the Volume") still has it. Nice to see him in something substantial, rather than voiceovers.
Another intriguing character is badass/unhinged Tyrell Wellick. Swedish actor, Martin Wallström, would make a great Bond villain. He reminds me of a young Christopher Walken.
Some scenes knock your socks off. In Episode 9, for example there is a lovely transition of time sequence showing the Mr Robot computer shopfront from 1984 to present day (shades of the dress shop in the 1960 version of "The Time Machine"). I also liked Christian Slater telling a customer the benefits of a 400 MB hard drive.
Writer/director Sam Esmail can do no wrong.

Ikea : Saving the Planet??? Bottled water bullshit

Ikea Australia sent me an email this week telling me they were replacing free coffee/tea in their restaurants with 50% off bottled water, "better for you, better for the planet". What crap. Australian tap water is fine to drink (especially Melbourne water).
How irresponsible for a so-called environmentally-friendly multinational company to promote bottled water.
"Better for the planet"
.... better for landfills and clogged waterways? What a waste of money and resources.

Okay, Ikea, if you want to pull the free coffee, okay, but don't clothe it in fake 'green' credentials.

Melbourne Water catchment area, 5 km from Ikea Springvale

Is "Ray Donovan" Season 3 better than "True Detective" Season 2?

Both set in L.A., both about crime and corruption.
But "Ray Donovan" has more heart and less pretence. The stunning aerial shot across the Hollywood sign, zooming down to Mickey in the motel pool, to the stains of "On the Good Ship Lollypop", was enough for me to confirm that Season 3 is going to maintain the standard of the rest of the series. David Hollander as the writer is certainly kicking goals. Episode 1 was a ripper.

P.S. That being said, the shootout scene at the end of "True Detective", Episode 4 was f**king amazing.

Why "Hannibal" deserved to be cancelled

One of network television's innovative, stylish and creative dramas in the first two seasons, Season 3 was a big disappointment. Beautifully shot and designed but it's no fun any more. No more devilish dinner parties and psycho-of-the-week.
Sure, Florence looks gorgeous and Gillian Anderson is very watchable as the ice-queen (like in "The Fall") but it's same-same after that.
Episode 2 dragged painfully. Will is becoming a bore. Lots of torrents of blood and the stag-critter is back (looking like some hybrid-beast from "The Thing").
Why do US series drag out over so many seasons (10-13 episodes each)? The Brits keep things short and sweet (6-8 episodes a series).

Holloways Beach, Cairn's best kept secret

Paradise on a budget.

Just 11 km from Cairns CBD, $3.10 on a public bus (Translink, Route 120), you could be in the middle of nowhere, but this is 10 minutes from an international airport. Free electric barbecues line the foreshore with shelters, drinking water and seating. The bus stop (Oleander Street) is 2 minutes walk from the beach. Stinger (e.g. poisonous Box Jellyfish) nets are installed for bathers from Nov-April.

NB.

You cannot swim in central Cairns due to the tidal nature of the area. There is a huge artificial lagoon (free) on the foreshore, Cairns Esplanade.

Looking north

Looking south, toward Cairns