What I have learnt from Twitter

After having a Twitter account for a week, here are my findings:

• You CAN get enough of Stephen Fry.
• "Eat a bag of dicks" is a valid reply to someone you disagree with.
• It's not just me who should get a life.
• The secret pleasure in Unfollowing a celebrity.
• There is often more twats than tweets.
• You can be just as mundane on Facebook, but with less characters.
• It's addictive if you stalk follow the right people.
• Being a sycophant fan can be fun.
• Second screening spoils a good mini-series on the box #crapattentionspan.
• Being favorited to me means someone you admire has bothered to read your tweet.
• Be quick to reply, snappy one-liners/ pop culture references mandatory.

My crap formula:

T = (SP)+(rt)+v

where T=Twitter, SP=self-promotion, r=rant, t=trivia, v=voyeurism

My suggestions for sat nav voice instructions

• Christopher Walken
• Carol Channing 
• Robert De Niro (as Travis Bickell, "You talkion' ta me?")
• Sarah Millican ("Turn left, flower")
• Dylan Moran (see Black Books)
• Joan Rivers
• Jack Dee
• Barry White
• Barry Humpries (as Dame Edna Everage)
• Paul O'Grady as (Lily Savage)
• Paul Keating ("Next left, scumbag")
• Kenneth Williams (I know this is impossible)
• Julian Clary
• Elmer Fudd ("I said Wight, Wabbit!")
• R.A.F. pilots or Neanderthals from The Armstrong Miller Show
• Father Jack (from the sublime Father Ted)
• NOT Jeremy Clarkson
• NOT Marlon Brando (mumble, mumble)
• NOT Tony Abbott (He'd always tell you to turn RIGHT, and you can't trust a word he says)

Any suggestions?

Dog blog (by my dog) "Bark life"

My owner writes crappy lists so I thought I'd have a go .......

Favourite actors: Terrier Thomas, Danny Bonaduce, Robert Wagger, Kirk Doglas (he was great in Bartacus), MacCollie Culkin. Gene Collie
Favourite actress: Ellen Barkin, Ruff Gordon, Eleanor Barker, Sarah Jessica Barker, Jacqueline Bassett
Favourite films: Dog Day Afternoon, The Howling, Must Love Dogs, The Hound of Baskervilles (the Basil Rathbone version), Dogs in Space, Reservoir Dogs, Straw Dogs, Rambone : First Bloodhound
Best 2012 Oscar film: Zero Dachshund Thirty.
Favourite music: Bow Wow Wow, Bono, Boney M, Pointer Sisters, Joe Cocker
Favourite pop group:  of the 60's (The Fab 4), The Beagles; of the 80's, The Korgis, Jo Boxers
Favourite book: The Dogs of War, The Bone Identity, The Bone Collector
Favourite song: Devo's Whippet
Favourite TV shows: Bones, Inspector Rex
Favourite cars: LandRover, Maybach
Favourite tipple: "Johnnie Walkies"
Favourite celebrities: Michael Barkinson, Joan of Barc
Celebrities I hate: Cat Stevens, Moggy Smith, Raymond Burrs
Celebs I'd like to chase: Katey Seagull, Steven Seagull, Samantha Fox, Deborah Mailman
Celebs I'd like to be if I wasn't a dog: Virginia Woolf, Ernie Dingo
Favourite leisure activity: dogging, walks in the park