Hotel room confessions by A. Guest

Whenever my wife and I stay in a hotel, there are certain things we do:

1. Rearrange the furniture if necessary. In the above photo we have moved the couch, rug, chair and coffee table because for some reason it was facing away from the view. We move everything back before we check out.
2. Smell the room .... dead giveaway for dampness or poor air conditioning.
3. Open the curtains - view of car park? close to tennis court noise? kids' pool noise?
4. Check fridge temperature. Take out the mini bar items to make room for our booze/nibbles. Those tamper-proof minibars are a pain, but seem to be dying out.
5. Check out the pillows - like foam/hate feather. Ring Housekeeping.
6. Turn on television. Check picture quality, access to cable, remote control is functioning.
7. Make ice if there is a freezer in fridge or find ice maker room.
8. Ask how flexible checkout time is, the day before we leave.
9. Tidy up, clear surfaces before the maids comes in, they have a shitty enough job as it is.
10. Check hotel internet policy (download limit, complimentary wifi?).
11. Don't wait to have a bitch session on trip advisor, complaining days later. Ring Guest Services or go to Reception if something is wrong, but say it nicely. No one likes a scene.